Tips for effective communication as a couple

If you’ve been in a troubled relationship, there’s a very good chance you grew up with parents who fought and argued often. Your home was probably filled with the sounds of angry voices, raised in an attempt to be heard or simply to drown out the other person.

This means you had no standards for how to treat your partner or what effective communication looks or sounds like. And so, you find yourself languishing, hoping things will get better with your partner, but not really knowing what to do.

The key to a healthy relationship, hands down, is good and respectful communication. If you’re currently working on improving your relationship, here are some communication tips to help you get closer:

Give each other your FULL attention

We live in the age of technology, which means most of us have our heads buried in our phone or tablet almost 24/7. This prevents good communication.

When you talk to each other, make sure you give your full attention to what the other person is saying. Turn off the TV, put the phone down and make eye contact.

I’m taking the responsibility

There are those relationships that suffer because one person was unfaithful. But many times, a broken relationship is the result of two broken people. Take responsibility for your own role in the problem. Admit your mistakes and commit to trying harder.

Don’t interrupt

It’s not easy to hear someone say negative things about your behavior, but resist the urge to cut your partner off when they say something you don’t like or don’t agree with.

Don’t raise your voice

Yelling and yelling is not a form of effective communication. Do your best to avoid raising your voice at all. It may sound very simplistic, but it really helps to stop and take a slow, deep breath when you feel your anger rising.

I hear

When your partner is talking, you should be listening to every word they say, not thinking about how to respond. Many people are bad listeners. Listening is a skill you should develop over time, but why not start now?

If you follow these communication tips, you’ll have a much better chance of reconnecting with your partner and making things work. And if you would like to find a therapist who can guide you through your recovery, please contact me. I would be happy to talk with you about how I can help.